Tonight I was reading an article and listening to music. Really, there were other things I should have been working on but as I read and I listened it snapped me back to a place where I haven't been in a very long time. Far too much time has passed since I have really sat and thought about things.

Now, everyday I do intense thinking: how to best piece together an a/v system, what particular track played on which speakers will emotionally connect with someone, how best to manage my business for the best possible results. But I mean serious, important thinking. Thinking about things that are outside of and greater than ourselves. Reminiscing back upon my life and about how my actions impact those around me, about God and love and the world. Things that matter. Things that are eternal.

When was the last time I read a good book or just went out alone with my camera captured photos and contemplated the world. I appreciated the little things. When I was in college and when I first moved to Houston it seemed that I somehow understood things better than I do today. I connected with myself, with God and the world around me more. In so many respects my world is richer now but it seems I no longer have that quiet time whether it be buried deep in a book or walking alone with my camera exploring no place in particular. I think we all need that. Unfortunately, it seems most of us tend to hide from it. We fill each one of our moments up. We are on the phone, in front of the computer, we leave the TV on (even if just in the background) or we nap. It's not that these are bad things but when is the last time you were truly alone with your thoughts? When was the last time you sat alone in the dark, took a deep breath and thought about things eternal? I know for me it's been far too long.

That changes today. I have a fantastic library behind me half unread. I have 95% of Houston left unexplored by my camera and I have a heart and a mind that have been filled with things to pass the time and fill the quiet moments for far too long.

While sitting and listening to that music late at night with only the desk lamp lighting the room, thinking back to who I was and where I used to be I suddenly had the intense urge to write. So here I am, writing to no one in particular and for no one but myself.

Fitness

Well, I dropped the cash for a three year membership to 24 Hour Fitness today along with a friend. Hopefully I’ll get somewhat near to being in the kind of shape I used to be in.

It’s not that I’m currently out of shape. I’m just not in awesome shape and that bothers me.

Moved Recently

I moved recently and have been here about a week and a half. It was pretty rough at first but the place is coming together nicely. It’s old. Built in the 1920’s on the south side of the Heights in Houston and it shows in a lot of places but the layout is cool as are the well worn wood floors. It has character.

In the meantime I finally got my internet up this past Wednesday (and immediately hooked up the Airport Extreme for some extreme wireless) and am piecing together the a/v equipment bit by bit. I purchased some new cable wraps (disclaimer: I am a cable-mangagement junkie) and have spent the last few hours going back and forth between hooking up, wrapping, zip-tieing, internet browsing and espresso making/sipping. Needless to say I am almost done which is good as I am in serious Martin Logan withdrawl. Spiking the speakers and sub was fun if only because of the afore-mentioned wood floors. I ended up sacrificing $3 worth of quarters to rest between the massive floor spikes and the laquered dead trees.

After I finish setting up/tweaking speaker placement I’ll be sure to post some photos of the setup.

Creationism?

What it is about creating something? Whether it flows from your pen, brush, chisel, camera, body, mind or spirit the act of creation grows you, matures you and changes the way you look at the world around you. With time it creates a sense of vision. It changes your perspective. And often it can make you smile.

What is it that a photographer feels when he flips through a stack of prints, or an artist who walks a gallery of her work, a musician hearing her song on a passing radio, or a parent as he looks upon his child? Is it a sense of adding something new to this world, or of responsibility for that created?

And what of the pain when our created thing is hurt? Whether it be a torn photo, a smeared oil-painting or a scraped knee why does it affect us? After all, there is no physical connection.

There is a responsibility. It is not a sense of responsibility but an actual responsibility. That which we create impacts the environment around it. A photo in a newspaper, a sculpture in a gallery, a child growing into an adult interacting with those around him.

That which is created has a responsibility to its creator. A piece of music or artwork to stay true to its vision, a child to obey it's parents and us to honor God.

So are we responsible as creators? And what of our responsibility as that which is created?

Below are photos from the second half of my "spring break" beginning with the roadtrip from Laredo, Texas to Monterrey, Mexico:

Visas for Entry, Nuevo Laredo, MX

Church Amid the Slums, Nuevo Laredo, MX

Opening Bomb Bays, Monterrey, MX

Atop Chipinque, Monterrey, MX

Nature Atop Urban Sprawl, Monterrey, MX (I apologize for the compression banding in the sky; blame Flickr)

The Hottest New Drinks, Monterrey, MX

Poor Artist at Fort, Monterrey, MX

Lights in a Tunnel of Darkness, Monterrey, MX

Just Before Dinner, Monterrey, MX

Relationship

Lately my thoughts have been revolving around relationships. How do relationships work? How do they last and how are they broken? Why do we have an inherent need for them and why are they so hard?

For anyone the most painful moment in their life will come at the breaking off of a relationship. Whether it be caused by sin, distance or death the moment of realization that relationship is broken off or dramatically altered is ultimately the most heart-wrenching thing you can experience.

I was listening to a sermon from several years ago by a man named Curt Harlow where he asked what disappointment was. His answer was, "Disappointment is the expectation of success followed by failure." Curt was speaking of relationships. It's when that guy or girl tells you that it's "just not going to work out." It's when you are told there was a terrible accident. It's when phone calls and emails go unanswered and your heart just sinks.

Why are relationships so important to us? It goes back to the beginning. We are designed to have a deep, meaningful relationship with God and He wants to have relationship with us and we are created in His image. Our desire for human relationship is a manifestation of our desire for divine relationship.

Have you ever had that moment surrounded by friends, family and loved ones where you have that unexpected sharp pang of loneliness? It is because as important as human relationships are they cannot fill that God-shaped hole in every persons' heart. The spiritual, divine connection goes deeper, is far more permanent and unlike human relationship can only be broken off by us.

Friends, family and loved ones. They can all choose to break off relationships for reasons rational or not. My family has been going through this as of late and I have seen so many tears as a result. So many broken hearts. With time, Lord willing, those relationships will be mended and in the meantime I can turn to that one relationship that I cannot break.

Disappointment is the expectation of success followed by failure.

In the morning, before her coffee

Some relationships are based on food and love

Flirty

Isa folds her dolls' clothes

Me at the wheel on the way to Laredo

It has been an exhausting few weeks. First there was the crazy five day Houston to San Antonio, to Laredo, to Monterrey, Mexico to Laredo and back to Houston trip. Then my mother's wedding was this past Saturday with her rehearsal dinner the Thursday night before and as I mentioned walked her down the aisle. In between I am back at the old store in the Woodlands readjusting to the customer base, the product and co-workers.

I have fallen behind in my reading which disappoints me although I have been taking more photos (still not as consistently as I would like). Finally yesterday I feel as if I finally caught up on my sleep.

Hopefully I will be able to post something more thoughtful in the next few days but in the meantime I'm halfway done with the photos from the spring break trip. These photos go through San Antonio:

Isa eating breakfast; she is four and understands she is the center of attention

Isa "doing her tia's hair"

Banana for breakfast?

How badly does she want that cake?

This bald eagle is grounded in captivity as it was shot by a poacher and had part of its wing removed

A Moment Suspended in Time

I'm somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of the way done with the photos from below-mentioned trip. Hopefully I'll be done early this upcoming week.

Also, my mother is getting married today; I'm walking her down the aisle.